Nonsense over shoes for posting

One of our readers sent us the following which is translated from a piece in an Italian women's magazine by Ms Concita De Gregorio. It asks: 'Did you ever hear about customs form Cn23? No? You're lucky! Queue at the post office. A lady has to send a parcel: a pair of shoes for her niece in New York. While waiting she says: the daughter of her sister is called Melinda and when they come to Italy during the summer holidays the girl looks enchanted at the windows of shoe shops and that is why she has bought some as a gift, red patent leather with a clasp. She'll love them and it is such a pity she can't see her face when she opens the parcel. A small parcel, well packed. At the post office window: 'What's in the parcel madam?' Shoes. 'For the USA I see.' Yes, they are for my niece. 'Soles separated from the upper, or finished shoes?.' Finished. 'Mmmm, that's not very easy because there is a new security protocol imposed by the US administration. It's the only country with which we can't guarantee delivery within four days. After September 11, you know! Did you fill our form Cn23?' No, what is it about? 'Customs declaration.' I'll fill it out. 'Did you bring the Cites certificate issued by the Forestry Department?' Not really. The Forestry Department? 'Yes, that's for the Washington Convention.' What is that about? 'I'll read from the circular for you. You can, if you don't have a Cites Certificate, make an auto-certification, here in addendum 2: you'll have to specify that the leather used for these shoes are not from a protected species of animals and, therefore, not mentioned in the Washington Convention ratified by Italy in law 874 of 1985. Well, which are the protected species of animals? 'I have no idea, the circular doesn't mention that. One would have to consult the law.' I understand, do you have the law? 'No, I don't, but you can find that at the website of the Parliament.' And if I sign a generic auto-certification? 'You can try but at your own risk. Please fill out also addendum 7. Three copies. You want any help?' Yes, thanks. 'Here we go. Year of production of the shoes?' I don't know. 'Let's say 2003. Are they hand made?' I believe machine made. 'Number of stitches of the upper?' Excuse me! 'The stitches of the upper. You have to tell me how many stitches.' I don't know. 'Then please count them.' Do I have to open the parcel? 'I would say yes!' Two patent leather shoes, cherry red, shiny as sweets. There are no visible stitches, so they must have been glued together. 'You also have to inform me about the percentage of leather, rubber or other synthetic materials.' The percentage? 'Yes, madam. Please read from the box.' It's not written, it only says they are according to the EU norm. 'We are not interested in that. We need the composition.' Excuse me, but can't you see these are children shoes? You have seen them, I certify the same and we are done. 'I'd like to but I can't certify anything. We need documents.' But please excuse me, if I put them in a suitcase and I load the suitcase on a plane, wouldn't that be the same thing? 'I don't know the protocols of the airlines.' Nobody ever asked me to take out the shoes from my suitcase, I can assure you. 'I don't know what to say, madam. For whatever other country there is no problem, but with the USA that's how it works.' But I don't have to send them in any other country, I have to send them to New York. 'I understand. Maybe you would like to think about it. Meanwhile let's move this queue.'